Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
