so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
love makes seman taste better
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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