he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
