i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
