im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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