I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
