I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
