They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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