Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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