My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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