We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize