He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
