Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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