Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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