On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
