I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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