Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
