We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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