Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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