Me. At least after what I've been through.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
