What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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