It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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