Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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