Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize