Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize