now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
