Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize