My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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