Umm I'm too high to move.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
God, I missed his penis.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize