i already hear my dad disowning me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
