Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
