So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
