porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
