My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
