My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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