I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've blown a few things in my day
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
