I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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