Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
