it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
