so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
