this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
my liver is dry heaving
Help me help you realize you are a moron
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
