what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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