It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
