i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
