worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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