paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
