An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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