i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize