stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
