I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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