We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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