carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
