so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize