it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
