Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
