It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
