i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize