Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
