and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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