I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
