the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
