SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
