real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
