she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
