so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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