That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
