Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
