Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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