wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize