So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
