Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
