I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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