I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
