In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
